Monday, May 10, 2010

Maddeningly Unhelpful Advice-Put down the candy bar and back away slowly

Hi, my name is Kasie, I'm addicted to sugar. Proof: Last Sunday, my mom brought over some cookie dough to make cookies at my house (yes, I'm spoiled) and every five minutes, I snuck a glob of cookie dough. Every. Five. Minutes. Do you know how many cookie globs that equals??? A lot. I could go on and list several examples, but they all start to sound the same. So, I decided to do something drastic. I decided to quit sugar. I found a diet that is for this very problem and is supposed to cleanse my body of its sugar cravings. It lasts five weeks and restricts me from several things, including sugar. Today is day seven on my complete sugar detox and let me just share with you some excerpts from my food log to show you how well it's going.

Day 1: Whipped up some egg beaters for breakfast and topped them with sliced avacado. Yum. This is going to be easy.
5 hours later-- MUST EAT SUGAR. Why did I decide to do this? This is craziness. I love sugar. Sugar and I are good together.

Day 2: I was making the kids lunch this morning and some peanut butter got on my finger. Much like Stephan from The Vampire Diaries when he saw human blood, I stared at it longingly and then had to stop my shaking hand from closing the distance to my mouth. It was pathetic.

Day 3: My daughter offered me a piece of her candy bar today. Not good. I didn't eat it, but I did stare at it until my daughter had to say, "Are you going to take it, or not?"

Day 4: I had a dream last night that a skunk was clinging to the ceiling above my bed and that a talking dog was telling me how to move so I didn't make it angry. I'm convinced this non-sugar diet is making me even crazier than I already was.

Day 5: Why did I buy that Vanilla air freshener? My whole house smells like cookies. I need cookies. I might eat the glade plug in. Is this food log supposed to record what I did eat or what I didn't? I seem to be fixated on what I didn't.

Day 6: Daughter: "Ew, what's that smell? Is it your dinner." Me: "Probably."

Day 7: I woke up this morning feeling half way decent. Maybe I don't need sugar/chocolate after all. I'm suspicious. I think I may have gotten up in the middle of the night and gone on a chocolate binge. Must set up nighttime video recording device.

What's my advice? Eat chocolate. And if you're anywhere near me and you look, smell, or taste like chocolate, you may want to maintain eye contact and back away slowly.

19 comments:

  1. That's why I don't make cookies very often, because I eat way too much of the dough. This sounds like a diet I could use.

    Keep us posted.

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  2. What will-power. However, I have to tell you my sister stopped all processed sugar for a week and then had all sorts of HORRIBLE (bowel) issues. I said bowel on your blog.

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  3. OH MY! This is probably exactly the detox I need. I'm not sure I'd be able to make it a whole week. Good on you.

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  4. Patti, you will be kept posted whether you want to be or not. :) It's the only thing I can think about right now.

    Jessie, um, that doesn't sound good. Did she have these "bowel" problems during or after? I'm now scared. :)

    Lois, If I can do it, then anybody can. :)

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  5. You are either super-brave or crazy! Either way, I'm impressed. :-)

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  6. Some day you'll look back on this and laugh ... like you just made me laugh! :D

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  7. It is so hard to break from something your body is used! Good luck!

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  8. Oh good grief! I think I'd rather work out an extra hour before going without the sugar high. Then again I'm not THAT huge on the sugar hits. My big bad is the Rock Star energy drinks. It's loaded with sodium, yeah...not good. (Hugs)Indigo

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  9. Wow you're brave. Take away my sugar and prepare to die.

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  10. I need to do something similar. *sigh*

    I'm sorry your dinner smells bad. (But it did make me snort-laugh, which I'm sure makes it all better.)

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  11. Oh, good luck. You are strong. I don't think I could do it.

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  12. I've tried it before and never lasted longer than a day. My hat's off to you.

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  13. After. She was told she had IBS, and went on a probiotic which seemed to take care of it. Anyway, just a wierd coincidence? I don't know. She thought she was pregnant. She preferred the IBS as it would have been #5.

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  14. I hope you have good luck! I don't think I could stay away from the sugar. =)

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  15. You're a much stronger woman than I, Kasie. I raise my glass of ice cold Dr. Pepper in your honor.

    Oh . . . probably not helping, am I?

    P.S. If it makes you feel any better my daughter says that every night. Makes me feel like my hour of toiling in the hot, sweaty kitchen is well appreciated.

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  16. you're much stronger than me!

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  17. Lol, I SO feel for you. We can do it!

    P.S. I figured out why my diet works... after a week all the foods you're allowed to eat don't sound good anymore. I'd literally rather not eat than eat what I'm allowed to.

    P.P.S. Did I mention I had string cheese for breakfast and a handful of nuts for lunch? I did. :P

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  19. what is the diet that you found?

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